Ralph Burton Gross Jr (1925-1975)

Ralph is my grandfather.

Mr. Gross, my grandfather, had worked for the General Electric Co for 29 years and was a foreman at the Tiffin plant. He was a member of the GE Quarter Century Club and of St. Joseph Church and its Holy Name Society. He was an Army veteran of World War II serving as a Private First Class in Germany and France from 1943-1945. He was awarded the Bronze Star Medal for service as a scout in his battalion intelligence section as well as the Purple Heart for being wounded in battle (Enlistment Date: 20 Nov 1943). Ralph B Gross Jr died at University Hospital in Columbus, where he had been a patient for about a month battling cancer. He is my only grandparent I have not met.

Ralph’s son, David Ralph Gross, records the following memories of him:

Ralph & Marguerite's Wedding

“When I was a kid we lived on Malmore Street and we were remodeling our new house so we could move into it.  I remember going there with Dad and working with him, the carpenter, electrician and plasterer. I remember knocking down walls and us working with the plaster guy doing all the swirls and work on the big ceiling in the living room.  I probably was not much help and many times was in the way but I thought I was helping.   Little did I know back then that we were actually working on the perfect house.

“Dad always was the car driver and mom did not drive.  I remember we used to have a Scout and a Buick Special.  The Buick Special did not need a key to start it.  We also had several station wagons.  Dad was a good driver.  I remember one time when we were driving to the lake and a car was passing ahead of us and almost hit us head on.  Dad drove off the road to avoid hitting the other car.  We had a lot of snow back then and I do not remember ever getting stuck in the snow that Dad could not rock forward and back and get us free.  The one thing I remember that really used to bug Dad while he was driving was we used to take a Styrofoam cooler back and forth from the lake.  It was in the back of that station wagon and sometimes it would make noises.  We had to always adjust the cooler so it was quiet because dad did not like the squeaky Styrofoam noises.

“Dad and I used to watch western shows on Saturday afternoons. I remember us both lying on the living room floor in the front of the TV. He used to use me as his pillow.  Most times after a while he would fall asleep and I might lift his head up and put a pillow under his head and I would go away for a while and then come back.

“Dad used to like to drink beer.  He would usually like a beer after he got home from work.  Sometimes he would have one outside with the neighbor along the property line.  Many times they would dump the foam on the little evergreen seeding we got from school.  Out of all of the seedlings that we got over the years, the only one that actually grew and survived was the one that had all the beer spilled on it.  The beer tap was in the basement.  I remember when we used to roll the big kegs down the basement stairs to the tap.  Most people at the lake drank beer and alcohol.  Actually I cannot think of anyone that did not drink up there, some actually started the day out drinking and definitely drank too much.  One of the people that had a trailer at the lake owned the Red Horse Tavern in town.  Dad and I went there once in a while and he got a beer and I drank a soda.   

Ralph at war.

“Sometimes up the lake we used to play kick ball.  One of the people that had a trailer up there was mean to us kids.  He would steal our ball if it went in his yard.  He was a mean neighbor.  If the ball went in his yard dad would go get our ball for us.  I remember a few times my Dad’s friend and he would work on their car and make excessive noise to mess with the mean neighbor.  He definitely deserved it.

“Uncle Jim, Uncle Don and Dad worked at General Electric.  They were all foremen at the plant. When I was a kid I thought maybe I would work there also when I grew up.

“We used to do a lot for the family.  I remember going to Grandma Gross'house and mowing and fixing things.  When Uncle Bob was alive we went up to Mary Lake and helped them clear up the lot that they were going to build on.  After Uncle Bob died we used to go to Fremont and fix things and work on stuff occasionally at Aunt Francis’ house.  Dad and I went to pick up Uncle Tommy from Tiffin Center for his weekend visits with Grandma Gross and then take him back Sunday night.

“Most times Dad liked to go to church real early.  Many times it was six o’clock in the morning when he went.

“Dad loved to fish.  When we had our trailer at the lake it seemed like every nice day we would go fishing in the morning.  We would fish until we ran out of minnows and then head back.  When we got back we would scale and filet the fish.  The guy that ran the electric fish scaler was always a mess.  Some people did not do a good job of filleting the fish.  I remember when I was a kid and mom choked on a fish bone.  When I filleted fish I made sure I had not bones in the filets.  Dad cleaned fish good also.  The best day fishing I remember was when Dad, my buddy Mike and his dad, Arby, went fishing.  Mike and I were on one side and dad and Arby was on the other side of the boat.  Mike and I would bait up and let our lines down and within 5 seconds we would have a bite and bring up two fish at a time on our spreaders.  This was like non-stop for maybe an hour or so. Dad and Arby were not catching much on the other side of the boat but we were hauling them in on our side.

“I remember when I learned to water ski.  Sometimes my friends and I would ski behind our boat.  Our boat at top speed was really fast and would go over 50 MPH.  Sometimes Dad would pull me full throttle.  It was scary but fun.  The wipeouts sometimes were not so fun though.  To this day many times I water ski I like to go full throttle. The speed is fun; falling not so much.

“It always seemed like Dad could do anything.  I never remember him saying that he did not know how to do anything.  He always figured a way to get the job done, always working at something, either at our house, our trailer or a relative’s house.

“Dad was in the army and was injured.  He had obvious scarring and previous wounds to his leg and back.  I know they were significant injuries when they occurred but he never complained about them to me.  I never once heard him talk about what it was like or how terrible the war was.  He got back from his service to our country and went on with his life.  He did not use the war as a reason that he could not get on with life or cope with anything.”

Left to Right: Deb, Marguerite, Diane, Ralph, Dave (Donna was not yet born)

Editor's Note:

Despite how well Ralph appears to have not allowed his war sufferings to have affected his children, Ralph's wife, Marguerite, records a different story in her video autobiography. She recalls many nights that Ralph would wake up (sometimes yelling) in a cold sweat from nightmares. She states feeling like he was suffering with flashbacks that he wouldn't open up about. Marguerite reports sometimes Ralph would daze off in memories and seem distant. Ralph may have moved on with his life as best he could, and not complained, but it is clear that his selfless service to his country has left permanent marks on him, both physically and emotionally.